People Always Leaving

So I came home from working in OKC so proud of myself. I had bill money coming. I paid my rent and some of my bills and was waiting for my mom to give me this months rent so I could pay it when she informed me she spent all her money. My cousin said she spent it on drugs. That she spent the entire time in her room with her boyfriend not watching my kids. The house was a mess. It took 14 hours to clean and do laudry. My kids smelled like they hadn't bathed since I left and they had not brushed there teeth and there was no food in the house. My mom was a completely different person. Somehow I think I knew her being sober would not last but I had hope. She meets a man and in a second her life is completely fucked. So then she packs her stuff and she moved out. Well I can't afford this place on my own. So I called my dad crying because he always saves me from her. He said why do u always think she changed. So he told me to start packing and me and my sons can move in with him til we find a place. I have been packing. Its sad that my own mother someone who is suppose to biologically love me doesn't she never did. It should't shock me shes done way worse things to me but it always does because I would never do those things to my kid. And people wonder why I am screwed up about love. Well lets see because since I was little I have been trying to get my mother to love me and because she doesn't and has told me no one will ever love me I believed no one would. The truth is I don't know why I need her approval or love. People keep telling me walk away and stay away and I don't know why I can't. I wish I could