Falling and I Can't Stop

I have found pieces of my heart again. And even thou my brain tells me that I could not indure another heart ache I think I have always loved him in some way. Other wise why would I have been so attracted to everything about him. There was always something safe and comforting about him. It was they way he spoke to me on the phone. They way he would say things. But the moment I really knew I loved him is that I was able to be with him with out substances. I was molested when I was 5 and date raped when I was 18. Something about someone touching me has always made me uneasy so I learned very early on to use drugs or alcohal so I didn't feel that way. It was like he was a magnet and I was the fridge we were going to attract no matter what. I didn't need those other things. More importantly I didn't want them. The first time I have ever been okay being with someone. My cousin reds tarot cards and shes very good. She used three different decks and did it three times the out come was the same. If I choose what was in my heart in love then I would prosper in success and building a life and would be happy. It was amazing she basically told me that I needed to jump because it was all going to be okay. So thats what I am going to do. Because its about time I got my happy ending to a fairytale I never thought exsisted.