Awakening

I finally got it. I realized why I was so sad. I think in my mind I still thought it was my fault. That I could have changed the outcome. I choose to not let that control me or he wins. I choose to decide that the last 5 years was a lesson to be more careful but to also not pretend it didn't happen. I still blamed myself. I choose not to do that anymore. Because I did the best I could. I tried. It didn't work I shouldn't punish myself. I also choose not to give up. Even thou I wanted to I'm not. I am going to keep fighting for the woman I used to be who I know is still inside me. Because I'm not done so quiting just doesn't work. There is so much more I want to do in this life and accomplish. So I'm going to do them. But only for me. Not for anyone else. I have to be the best I can be before I can be the best for anyone else. Watch I'm gonna do something great even if its only opening a group home non profit or traveling to help natural disaters. Whatever I am going to do. I am going to be great and help others.