Forgive me

It's great in life when you get forgiveness. I have been in so much pain lately that I have been lashing out. I am so upset with my self. No one knows how much pain I am in because of my foot. But I am pushing pasted it. I  have been working out and I keep my body moving no matter what because no matter how much pain I am in I am a mother of an almost two years old and I have to move in order to take care of my son. Other than my foot I have been great. I have been painting shelves and making my home a home. I am tired of sitting around in pain so I got up and did something about it. I am so glad its Thursday. Saturday is the party for Liam. The big two. I got some devastating news today about  a person who has been like a dad to me. He has stage four cancer and is going to die. He can not fight it because it brain. I am so distort by the news that I keep breaking into tears.  There is not a memory that I don't have when I was growing up that he is not in. Him and my dad were always side by side. I wish in the world that there was no cancer. I hate seeing people fade away and in pain. That is no way to come out of this world. It just makes it that much harder when you know its coming but at least you get to say goodbye. In all the years I have know him we never had a picture together. He was always in pictures I took. mostly standing next to my dad. My heart is broken.