Fuck You

I feel like I fall for this shit all the time. Bullshit that men tell you. What is it that I can not find someone normal who will sit with me and just talk about anything and everything this. I always find men who don't tell me anything. Who lie. Who cheat. Who want to use me. I am tired and I am done. I am better off just being alone. I prefer it that way. Its better off than being hurt constantly.  Emotionally battered and abused. I feel like I am slipping away into the darkness alone covered in bitterness and revenge and I don't want to feel or be like that but at this point I would rather people stay the fuck away from me. My cousin said she thought this was going to happen.  That I would do to men whats been done to me and be revengful. Is that what my lifes become.

My Tarot Reading for Today

So the first pile is my present. It says I am sharing love, all kinds of love, soul mates, two hearts finding each other. That I am a free thinker at the moment which I am. That I am rushing things which I do. I am a now person don't like to wait. To have patiences and slow progress which is to do with work. But that I have satisfaction and good luck which I do. My past is the middle pile. I stopped after two cards because I jad enough of that. But it says in my past I had anxiety and fear and being afraid which I did. And when I pulled the Devil card thats when I stopped. It says darkest parts od the self, slave to something, inner demons. So thats all my past relationship. The last pile is future which says practice makess perfect, hard work, healing, peace, an object of desire, opposites uniting, passion, love, strength of will, wounded warrior. So I took it as keep working hard and it will pay off. I am going to heal from my past and be okay. I will find love and I will not give up and I will keep going. I am a surviver.