Heartache is real

I often wonder how much pain one can take. I think I have had enough to last lifetimes. Broken promises lies deaths abuse abandonment. I have been shattered beyond repair. And they all say they have patients but they never do. The latest heart break said he would be the first of many. Of many what lies. He said he would never stop looking at me. Yeah that lasted a week. He said he loved me then text flirted with others. If u paid attention to me then u wouldn't have time for others ass hole and it all fell apart in 4 months. He said he would always try hard. More like try hardly. And he loved kissing me! when? When he was telling me I did everything wrong and saying he loved me at the same time. He loved talking with me then stopped one day and we never talked again. He always texted first and told me details where he was what he was doing where he was going.now he don't answer them for days and they are all lies. I am not at the casino being a jack as unable to be an adult. Whatever dude. If lying helps u then so be it. He used to say everything was lovely now he says fuck. Said he doesn't get mad and throw things and break them then why is my dresser and vacuum broke. I never seen someone get so mad before. Except a meth head oh wait that's what u are. U leave without saying a word I won't hear from u unless u want to sleep or eat. U pay no bills and u call talking about my feelings and how this upsets me bitching hum I wonder. At least if I do drugs I keep my shit normal it only falls apart when I fall in love and give everything to the other person. Well I won't fall for that again. I dont wanna wake up one day everything in pawn shop. My money already been stolen. And my shit gone through but no big deal right. Wrong very wrong. Ask any women if a man did this to her if she would stay especially if she hasn't had sex in more than two months. I didn't change u did dude. Dramatically and I will go on because I am a catch. But see karna will fuck u up and u will always regret losing me and miss me because u fucked over a really good loyal decent person to run around like a thug. So was it worth it. U might wanna start looking for someone that will cook clean cater to u r every need and u r guest every need wash your clothes give u message and blow jobs at will and make sure u have money for gas, car payment, casino, stuff u need, drugs, food, and anything else because I am one of a kind. All I asked was for a little time not even much. I asked for an hour on my birthday and didn't even get that. My bad. Just watch a movie or something together alone and u couldn't give me that. That's sad. Have a nice life. What was I wasting my time for. What did u do for me again except nothing but complain and I am the one u call dumb. Looks like u are