Sex doesn't always work

I have an addictive personality I do one of many things when I'm depressed.  I recently ended a 5 year relationship.  I got really sad thinking about how he wouldn't even consider marriage with me but he looked up Ukraine brides and over seas brides. Who would rather have some stranger who doesn't speak English then me and that fucked me up because I worked hard in my relationship did everything he ever asked and more and still got hurt. So I slept with strangers didn't feel better. I drank a lot and didn't feel better. I didn't feel like eating which is one of my habits and drugs is the last. And I am doing everything I can to hold it together but let's face it I'm broken. I don't want another relationship because I'm still hurting. What is it with guys no a days that want a relationship right away lo ice it's something I can give. I can't even think about that. I just want my memories gone and the pain to stop hurting. Can I please get that. Maybe some fucking patients. Anyways the point is that sex doesn't always help u think it will maybe it feel good for a min then u wondering what the fuck u are doing what am I doing. I'm losing my mind that's what.