Life's Never What it Seems

I wish I had a different life. All my life all I wanted is love. Love is supposed to make u a better you and bring out the good. I find myself depressed and sad in a loveless relationship waiting for him to want me the way I need him to want me. No kissing, no talking, no marriage, no I love yous after 4 years. But I keep waiting. I am un appreciated in all I do. He once told me that it was my job. Do u know how many women don't cook or clean or take care of kids. I do every thing and get nothing in return. I mean nothing. I buy everything and make half what he makes. I'm lucky he buys diapers. And all I want in return is to be married and have kids and be loved. I don't know how to get those things. Maybe I stay because I don't think I deserve it. I mean who else would put up with this. But I put on a smile and cry my eyes out at night. Sometimes I feel so alone I wait to die. But I have two boys who need me so I keep it together and do the best I can. Maybe one day I'll get love. I'll find someone who loves me for me. Who loves God and looks and the bright side and lives each day open and honest. Maybe just maybe I'll find that person.