So busy

So I have been slammed. Since I last wrote my computer crashed. My entire life was on there. I never backed anything up because I hadn't had time since I only had it about 6 months. I have to take it to a Toshiba place to see if they can recover my files and then wipe it clean and start again. My son's online school is going great. It's difficult to separate home fun and work but he is adjusting. My son is 10 today. Its almost hard to believe. My weight loss is going okay. My foot is finally better. I got an MRI and a new foot doctor who has been doing wonders. I get injections for pain and swelling every 6 weeks so I get to up my workout. It Works products are actually working. I feel great. I have only had open customer but lots of bites. I am not an aggressive sells person if I feel it I go for it. Other than that I am just trying to keep a float. My dads best friend died. He was like my second dad. And his daughter is my best friend. It was hard after the funeral everyone came to my house. Most of the stage hand I had seen I hadn't seen in years unless backstage or at Disney On Ice. This year was the first year my dad didn't do Disney On Ice. It was always him and his best friend Randy back stage cutting up and laughing. I am afraid that if I think about it too much I will cry. Not only because I felt I lost a friend and a dad but because my dads hurting and that makes me hurt. I am afraid of death. Maybe more than the normal person. Death is scary to me more of a panic attack. I want to know where I go who I will see. I fear I don't have enough time. I want so much more and years go by and nothing gets done. Something always comes along. I don't want to go out the way I am living now. I want to be healthy and married and have at least one more kid. I want to do all the things that I am afraid to do. My mind is just racing with thoughts tonight. Well I must put the thoughts to be. Thanks for reading me.